I'm searching for meaning, for a purpose, for happiness. Always looking, always seeking.

As I wipe my daughter's face, as I rush to meetings, as I respond to an endlessly overflowing inbox ...

always searching for something deeper, amidst the busy tasks at hand.

I am a spiritual seeker, in that I long for inner peace. Yet my to-do list grows faster than I can check things off.

I'm a mother, a wife, a director, a rabbi, a sister and a friend - and these roles, all of them, keep me on the run,

like a mouse on a wheel,

running full speed ahead -

and never getting anywhere.

Though I'm always on the go, I'm also always in awe.

As I run and run on the mouse wheel of life,

I look up and see the beauty around me.

I feel pride and fulfillment in the work I do.

I breathe and reflect, while briskly walking to catch the ferry.

My heart overflows as I kiss my children and frantically get them what they are crying for.

I look in my husband's eyes, even when annoyance overflows, and smile that I'm so lucky to have a partner in this messy, busy, beautiful life.

Both realities are mine -

I feel pride and longing simultaneously.

I experience love and frustration in a single moment.

I achieve and fail over and over again.

And I've come to believe that maybe, I'm not the only one.

Maybe there are many of us - who balance while running across the tightrope of life,

recognizing our achievements and missteps simultaneously,

looking down and back with pride and looking ahead with trepidation.

In rabbinical school, I spent a great deal of time studying and writing about the 'hide and go seekers' of our world. A name I created for those who, like me, sought enrichment and spiritual nourishment but couldn't slow down long enough for a deep exploration of the soul. Instead, we explore, and feel, and find our meaning within the business of our lives. We want a tangible spiritual nourishment that can find us, even as we are on the move.

Lately, I have pondered, while running full speed ahead of course, if one of my many gifts I can offer this life is to come up with more tangible tools and tricks for the 'hide and go seekers' of the world.

I believe there are ways to infuse the business with calm.

I know there are Jewish spiritual tools for transforming our inner narratives into positive mantras and expressions of gratitude.

So I write today with a question -

Are you interested?

Do you want to know my tricks for finding moments of gratitude within the storms of life?

Does learning more about the deeper meanings that are hidden in our calendar intrigue you?

Are you curious what biblical gemstones are also known for heightening spiritual strength?

Are you interested in hearing more about the modern, accessible, spiritual practice of finding balance in every trait and impulse?

Do you want recommendations for positive jewelry, clothing, art, and activities that can bring easily accessible moments of joy and appreciation to our lives?

If so, please comment below and let me know. Share if you're interested, and if brave enough - share what you are most interested in.

As I move full speed ahead, I'm pausing to take the pulse of your interest.

Are there other hide-and-go-seekers out there? Do you know me? Are you interested in deepening your spiritual awareness if you can do it without a significant time commitment?

If the answer is yes, let me know.

And we can begin to explore together.

Am I the only one?

Rabbi Samantha Kahn

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Lessons from then, for always

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